This is what my colleague and friend Mr. China Boy (not his actual name) advised when I was dull, thinking about one of my friends’ behavior. I accept what he said because if the expectations are not met, then it gives you only sad and sorrow. The problem is... to judge what is “expecting more”.
My friend came from Sweden (not the correct place) last month. He came to my room (in Hyderabad) with out prior intimation and it was really a surprise. It was a working day, so I couldn’t spend time with him on that day. He said he is going to stay in Hyderabad for three days and meet all his friends. I thought, if not on that day, he would spend some time with me, some other day. I was expecting a call from him for lunch or dinner so that we can sit and discuss. It didn’t happen on any of the days during his stay. And all this time he was staying with me under the same roof.
He was very busy all those three days. He met his ex-colleagues and had a party. He met his college friends and had another party. He was busy watching TV late in the nights. He had some offering at regional temples, so spent some time there and at last called me while he was in the bus, going back to his home. This made me think for a while. Expecting that a friend will spend some time with you, who is in your room for three days that too coming after a long time…Is this expecting more? I couldn’t judge and I couldn’t even be the same as he.
By the way today is “Relationship Renewal Day” – a day to thank all our friends, beloved ones, relatives… every one with whom you have a relation. Thanks to all of you.
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8 comments:
so iam prompting you a question here RAMO.How to get someone who caters these need of you?
Think about this!!!
Thanks for being a good friend of mine.
"It was a working day, so I couldn’t spend time with him on that day." your slot is over on that day only.
"Life me kabhi kabhi isaa hee hota hi" Time management :-) Take it easy ma.
Hey RaMO, take it easy man... :) Let me tell you something. Never expect anything out of a relationship...it can be any of the earthly ones. Just give your best and if you get anything in return then well and good otherwise just carry on. There is no use in cribbing for not getting what we have expected from others.
The case you have just mentioned in your blog...there instead of you expecting your friend to take the initiative, you should have taken the first step and asked him for a lunch or dinner...or while he was just watching tv late night u could have sit beside him and could have initiated a talk with him. So what I feel is it's just the communication gap between you both that led you to this conclusion.
Anyway what I suggest is don't expect anything from anyone. Leave alone more expectations. Hope my comments will enlighten you about the general human tendencies and behaviour. :) Cheerup buddy.
--Sirisha....
Siri, if I say that Mahatma Gandhi is addressing a crowd at Begumpet, and you see him in Safari instead of Dhothi, wont you start thinking (at least for a moment) why is he in safari instead of dhothi...
There are certain things which surprises you and then you start thinking about it. Here, in this case my friend's behaviour surprised me and that is what I was thinking about. If he comes again to HYD, I might not expect him spending time with me (because I learnt a lesson). In fact I called him dude. He was busy with other parties. mmm... TV programes... it was Chiru's program, so interrupting him will not be a fruitful attempt.
One needs to be more matured to attain a state which you are specifying (expect nothing) and I am trying to be there.
Hi Mohan,
This Siri (Srikanth) absolutely agrees with what the other Siri (Sirisha) has said (infact, wrote).
It is true that we expect some time that the time should be ours but during the time's test we may not be blessed with what we expect.
As we need to two hands together to clap better, we cannot blame on one hand for not sounding properly.
Instead of thinking about this subject for a blog you could have thought otherwise and might have made your friend's (friend??) vacation a colourful and memorable one since you knew well in advance that he is going to stay for three days with you(rather; in your room). Anyways, you cannot rewind the time; but can see that it doesnot repeat.
Also, there will be some cases where we cannot take the initiative; however in such (infact, in all) cases it would be better to estimate rather than to expect. Since, if estimation goes wrong it does not effect much as it the case with the other one.
Hope, you get it right.......
Since, yehi hai Right choice Babu...!
All the best and take care......
With thanks, regards and best wishes,
G.Srikanth.
It hurts when someone near to you, dont turn up to the min expectations.
If ur so hurt, it means he is good friend of you. If he is so, then its not a good idea to gather comments between ur relation by the rest. Until u want the comments to be explicitly made on you.
If he is so close to you, u certainly have freedom to call him up and scold him. Or go to him, beat him hard that he realizes how much he is hurting. ( this is what atleast I do with my nearest friends). Sometimes its will be case, they wont think in our way & we dont think in their way.
So rather calling it as a communication gap, better we treat the moments as time for better understanding. Might this turn the moment from a gloomy state to happy & cherishing.
LOVING FRIENDS
ARE ALWAYS THERE..
TRUE FRIEND NEVER TAKES IT BAD,
WHAT EVER YOU DO...
FRIENDSHIP,
ALWAYS SHOULD COMFORT..
OTHERWISE ITS NOT FRIENDSHIP..
ROCK UP MOHAN,
U R MOST ADHORABLE TO MANY..
U R THE BEST AT HEART..
WHOLE WORLD HAS SET THE STAGE FOR YOU..
DONT WASTE TIME ON SILLY THINGS..
GEAR UP, SET THE FIRE ON,
U HAD LOT OF DREAMS.
THERE ARE TWO KINDS OF PEOPLE WHO DREAM
- ONE WHO DONT GET OTHER DREAMS, TILL THE PRIOR ARE IMPLEMENTED.
- SECOND, KEEP ON DREAMING, BASED ON DAILY ROUTINES.
BE IN THE FIRST.
'Do not have (more) expectations' this is exactly the way he could have felt when you said "That that day is ur working day". Well he spent time with his other friends, remember that it is a working day and others spent time with him.
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